The cold touch of death

‘If you are bored of living, I could kill you if you want.’



It is truly amazing how trivial things like missing a bus, can have such a tremendous impact. Now, for instance, had I not missed the bus of the day, right now I would’ve been home, playing videogames like every night. Instead, I was in a dark street, half way away from home and outside a playground, which made it even more spooky. It was hard to believe that I had already walked this same road a number of other times when I had stayed out too late to catch the bus on time. And tonight as well the first half had proved to be just as dark and dull as any other. But my encounter with the girl had changed all that. She was sitting on the porch of one of the houses facing the playground. As I slowly approached, I saw that she was staring inside the playground. Which was spooky enough by itself, but became even more so from the faint rusting sounds of one of the swings. I am not sure whether it was more spooky when it was as if she was observing some invisible kid on the swing, or when her eyes suddenly fixated on me. even though I didn’t see it and even though she remained completely motionless, I knew that she was following me with her eyes. I continued to look at the ground in front of me, as I usually do while walking. But as I passed her I couldn’t help but throw her a sideways look. Her eyes were haunting and for the split second that they met with mine, it made the hairs at the back of my neck stand up.



As I was about to increase my pace, an icy voice pierced both the air and my eardrums.



‘Do you want to go play in the playground?’



Again, I wasn’t sure whether the sound of her voice or what she had actually said had spooked me most. It was amazing that she managed to create such dilemmas. At first I thought about just ignoring her and continuing on my way. but I felt compelled to answer her since ignoring her would be rude, so I slowly turned around, avoiding any kind of eye contact and focusing on the ground in front of her.



‘Uhm…no thanks, I’m not really in a mood.’



‘Why not?’



Although I could’ve answered in so many other ways, I chose to answer truthfully, for reasons beyond my understanding.



‘I don’t know…lately I haven’t been in a mood for pretty much anything.’



‘That’s saaad…why?’



‘I don’t know…I guess that everything just seems to bore me.’



‘If you are bored of living, I could kill you if you want.’



As I expect it to be normal, that suggestion caught me completely off-guard. So much that I forgot myself and, momentarily, stared straight into those haunting eyes. She was serious. That it was followed by a word of sympathy, had probably increased the shock. And the shock made me go through the whole meeting in my head. There was nothing that implied that she was going to suggest anything like that. There was a considerable difference between spooky and death.



I shouldn’t have talked to her. even though it was too late for such thoughts. But how does one even reply to such a statement.



‘No…thanks…’



‘Why not? Would you rather live a life of boredom and repetitiveness?’



‘Yes…well no…well…there’s no guarantee that it will always be like this…’



‘Maybe not, but it is most likely.’



‘How would you know anything like that?!’



‘I just do.’



I felt like arguing, I felt like insulting her…but in the end…I just walked away…she didn’t seem to react to this or showed any sign of following. As I walked away, I found that even though I felt an unexplainable urge to turn and look at her one more time, but I felt too scared to do so…as if, if I did, everything she had said would suddenly be true…or more true…what was also unexplainable was that for the following days I couldn’t stop thinking about her. What was particularly weird was that soon I realized that I didn’t even remember what she looked like. All that I remembered was that despite her scary demeanor and spooky attitude, she had been beautiful…so beautiful…she soon became an obsession, until I finally found myself going back to the house across the playground and asking about her. nobody knew anything about her. nor the people of the house, nor the neighborhood. I began to think that maybe she had also just happened to be there that night without actually living anywhere nearby. With nothing else to go on, I reluctantly gave up…



And just like that, 10 years passed. Ten years of the same boredom and repetitiveness that she had mentioned. And, in contrast to the actual experience, the memory was sweet and nostalgic in a way. I had often thought of her offer and whether I had made the wrong choice. I also thought about my choice if I was to be asked again.



At a random day, a random time, a random place, I made my way to the roof. I was in a bad mood. Which is ironic because heights only make my mood worse. There was a strangely familiar spooky atmosphere. Shadows on the walls, there one moment and then gone the next. A wind that hissed in an intimidating way. and of course, a fatal fall on solid concrete on all sides.



‘Do you want to gaze at the moon and stars?’



It was then that I saw her, and magically my memory from the event 10 years ago returned. In terms of spookiness and beauty, she was exactly the same. But she was also older now which, for some reason, seemed strange to me.

It was no longer difficult for me to stare straight in her eye. Nor did her voice make me shiver.



‘I missed you.’



‘It was inevitable that we would meet again.’



‘Does your offer still stand?’



‘Of course.’



‘What happens after someone dies?’



‘It depends.’



‘Will we be together after I die?’



‘If you want.’



I hesitated a little before the next question.



‘Who are you?’



I might’ve imagined it, but for a moment she almost seemed surprised.



‘I am your death.’



I couldn’t help but smile as to how something so crazy, actually made sense. So this is what happens when people fall in love with death.



‘I guess you already know that I am ready…could we maybe hold hands?’



She extended her hand and I took it into mine. Even though it was to be expected, the feeling surprised me, when faced with such beauty. The feeling of the cold touch of death.